you ever try to read a book and it's like. damn they really just let anybody write these.
aaaaa omg a coworker just came to my desk like "oh, you changed your name? me too, look!--" and pointed out her badge and then her ringless hand and gleefully announced, "divorce!!" and we exchanged congratulations and fist bumped djdnsnjs best interaction of my entire transition
Anonymous asked:
💚 Happy kākāpō returning to mainland Aotearoa for the first time in 40 years Wednesday 💚
todaysbird answered:
This is actually how I discover this news, that’s great! :,)
reblogging SPECIFICALLY for the End Note which is widely applicable
[Video description: A stitched tiktok.
The first part is of the same person roleplaying both a parent and a child. The child character is eating a donut and says "I think I'm a girl".
It cuts to the parent character, angry, saying "Well you're not. Shut up and eat your donut."
The second part is a stitch by @/freshcoralblast who says:
"So I'm a mystical being that can tell the future. I'm gonna give you uh, a play by play on what's gonna go down for the next 20 years."
"So I'm sitting on the floor, you might as well get comfortable while I tell you what's gonna go down. So that's gonna keep happening, it's gonna keep happening."
"At about 9, maybe 10, he's gonna ask for a pink colored Nerf gun instead of a blue one, and you're gonna get really passive aggressive about it, and he's not gonna know why, but he's old enough to remember shit now, and that's gonna be a problem later on."
"Wow! Later on happens. 13, 14, 15, this age range is very very important for a parent not being a cunt like you, but here we are. Because whatever you say, that kid's gonna go against it and start questioning shit."
"And one day you're gonna catch him wearing like, a crop top, and you're gonna kick his ass, you're gonna- cause these are the types of people that like, physically abuse their kids when they do something wrong, you know."
"Now you don't know it yet, but, you lost them forever. For ever. He's gone. He's gonna never bring friends over to your house, no, he's gonna tell all his friends, yell "my parents are assholes, can I go to your house?"."
"And that's where he's gonna be, trying on fucking feminine clothing, putting on make-up, because he knows that he's not gonna get abused by anyone by doing that. You know, it's gonna be great. He's gonna have a great time."
"And then college happens, and he's gonna get a real taste of adulthood and freedom away from you, and I wouldn't be surprised if she fully transitioned by 20. Like, just completely."
"And in that time, you're gonna talk less and less and less and less, you're not gonna know who she's in a relationship with, if she's getting married, her first house, what state she lives in, she's never ever gonna show you her kids, never. You're never gonna meet your grandkids."
"And... You're not gonna know why. you're gonna be so far up your own ass, that you're just not gonna accept that you have been the problem for decades, and... That's it."
"You're gonna be on your deathbed in 40 fucking years and just go, "Man, where did I go wrong?", but I'm telling you the answer, and you're not gonna believe it, but here we are."
"And just as an ending note, you don't love your kids. Love is unconditional. What you do is very conditional. "Be exactly how I want you to be or I'm not gonna love you". You don't fucking love your kids. Don't you dare pretend, don't you tell them that you love them without meaning it. That's fucked up."
End video description.]
As someone who cut off contact with their bio family decades ago, they absolutely are not going to figure out where they went wrong. If they were willing to do the self reflection thing they would have done that a long time ago.
Cutting off contact with them was one of the best decisions I ever made. I’ve never regretted it and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Will they wonder where they went wrong on their deathbeds? Probably not. But it doesn’t matter to me. I have my own life now and my happiness does not depend on them taking ownership of their actions.
If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:
Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."
If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.
But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."
"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.
The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"
As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.
"I have powerful wizard magics."
Gets them every time
the internet is so cool. I can post something online like
"hey if you're a twink then solve this equation: 4x + 2 = 46"
and inevitably at least ONE twink will find this post and solve for x. it's just a guarantee
Hi I'm a Twink, the answer is 11
we are all connected through this digital space. the assistance of a twink is merely a tumblr post away
need the studios to cave to the guilds demands very immediately or tom cruise is going to have Free Time on his hands for the first time in 42 years we as a species cannot allow that to happen like this is what he’s like when he’s busy working every single day of his life can you imagine what would happen if he got BORED
ALToh so we’re just stealing amanda marisatomay bits now
ace-kaz-brekker
spacecores
you ever try to read a book and it's like. damn they really just let anybody write these.
